On Men and Women

I was in peshawer recently where we were investigating the effects of the rise in militancy on music stores. we were expecting a lot of angst over the shadowy threats issued by the taliban, as well as the bombings that they must all live in fear of.

we weren't disappointed on that front, as most of the store keepers were too afraid to speak to us out of fear of retribution. one guy told me a story that seemed to perfectly encapsulate the pathan mentality - the president of the music shopkeeper's association had held a rally last year where he openly asked the taliban to come rest upon his genitalia, adding that he couldn't give a fuck about them.



he was promptly murdered.

but while there we discovered something else. as the threat from the taliban increases, the sales have dropped. no surprises there. but as the sales have dropped, the demand for more commercial, racy, and as they put it, vulgar songs and music videos is on the rise.

the more repressed we get, the hornier we get.



it struck a nerve with something i have long suspected. the widening gulf between the sexes enforced by the guardians of morality in our country is giving birth to some really fucked up people.

consider this - pakistani men are interested only in marrying immaculate women - they seem to be put off by the slightest symbols of a woman's sexuality when considering a partner for life. in contrast, their sexual fantasies are specially aroused by whorish images and icons, by flagrant displays of titillation. (tit-illation. sounds like a word a man came up with)


growing up amidst pakistani puberty has driven home this point. over time, i have seen men chase ever-riskier ventures to sake their mojo while demanding increasingly puritan attitudes from the women they know, marry and are related to.

the image of the women in dramas, music videos, stage shows, films, fashion ramps, in Bollywood and the 'West' increasingly seems to be about brazenness.


and the pakistani male - bereft of all normal contact with women and sinking amongst the bubbling testosterone - finds his ideas of sexuality increasingly divorced from his conception of companionship.

"i must fuck all the 'dirty' women i can find before i settle down with the Virgin Maria who can be the Mother of my children."


The dichotomy between the Mother and Madonna seems to dominate the local man. iconoclastic reverence of the one whose soles are heaven skies, and unadulterated fantasy for anyone who can be comfortably excluded from the meddlesome boundaries of mehram.

consequently, men in marriages are often found to have forlorn sexual prowess, and even those are immediately extinguished by the prospect of the woman having any skills in bed, for it would sour the image of her as untouched and pure. and those whose libidos are untainted, we find them plugging the holes of six year old nieces, pre-pubescent boys, and unsuspecting, vagina clenching bitches (or female dogs since you have inferred through your associations and not through literal meaning)

we're growing up to be confused, shy, clumsy clambering rapists. and this depravity is not because this is how we are. in a world where the idea of consumerism has transcended into relationships, a society which still prefers to inhabit the ideals of a stone age that never existed is going to go all fucked up. it just stands to reason.

and while we are on this topic, here's another thing. the reason i mentioned the stone age that never existed is:

consider this - a CEO of a large trading company, who happens to be a female, hires a sales rep half her age. upon seeing that he is very competent, said woman proposes marriage to her much junior employee. if you and i hear this story, we would be saying cradle snatcher, sex scandal and god knows what else. only this story took place 1400 years ago, in stone age arabia, and involves the founder of Islam.

on this account, that age seemed to be far more enlightened than this one.